my future is what i create in my own mind

I have been saying this to myself daily for almost a year and it became very clear to me while I was in California that affirmations DO indeed become a part of who I am.

Wikipedia says that an affirmation (from Latin affirmare, to assert) is the declaration that something is true or a positive value judgement.

My biggest and longest-lasting dream in my life has been to go to California. My dream was just to VISIT California. Living there would be icing on the cupcake.

And now I realize that before I knew what an affirmation was, I was willing things to happen in my life. Growing up in Indiana, I would always say to myself and others "I will go to California someday. I'm going to live there." I would have very vivid daydreams of what California was like and when I visited for the first time in February this year, it was strange to realize I was fairly accurate in my visions. It's nice to know that bits of the five year old me have made it to the realm of twenty-two year old me.

I admit that I have a very over-active imagination. I'd almost be embarrassed to let others know the thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis. I'd also venture to say that I owe a lot of my dedicated imagination to books. From the time that I was three, I was reading chapter books. My favorites in kindergarten were the "Boxcar Kids" series & "The Babysitters Club". I read every single one of the books in the series' so often, I had them memorized for quite some time. My imagination took me to the point where I would BECOME a character in the book, experiencing the emotions and trials the character was going through. This continued to plague me as I read books as a teenager and continues now, an adult.

Every time I think my life stinks, all I have to do is say to myself: "you're Frank McCourt in the streets of Limerick" and I snap back to reality, realizing that my life is perfect. I should be grateful that I'm not poor Frankie McCourt with holes in his shoes and nothing but a piece of fried bread for supper.

I think it's very easy for us all to get caught up in the negative situations of our lives and the lives of those around us. Last summer I had a revolution in my own life where I chose to not live negatively anymore. More specifically, I was letting the lives of my family bring me down and it was destroying me as a person. I finally realized that I cannot change anyone, but what I can choose to be is a light of hope in their dark, negative lives. Hopefully some of the shine will rub off on them.

I choose to be happy & healthy. I choose to be positive at all times. A list of affirmations was given to me last summer and the last on the list that I affirm daily to myself is: "My future is what I create in my own mind." I got the affirmation tattooed on my body because I am at a new beginning. I feel like I've found the secret to a happy and fulfilling life and I'm only 22. Live to be happy in the moment. Life is a series of moments and each one has the potential be as joyful and loving as I imagine it to be. 

Others have insinuated that perhaps this phrase won't make any sense later on in my life. My response is that I never want to stop dreaming. I never want to stop having hope for a fulfilling life, even at fifty I want to still be reciting daily "my future is what I create in my own mind."

the arbor of ann and other assorted tales...

i live in ann arbor, michigan. i moved here nine days ago. i moved here ten days after i came back from my pilgrimage to california. i went for eight days with my kindred spirit, allie. we visited san francisco, los angeles, and san diego.

after such a wonderful trip and determining that i had finally had enough of downtown, indianapolis; the question of why was answered with why not? and here i am, in ann arbor.

i've started becoming acquainted with my SIX female roommates. it's a new expierence for sure. i've never lived or been friends with sorority girls or jewish girls. not that it's a HUGE difference from my previous friends, like i said...just new expierences.

i'm having a blast meeting allie's coworkers, her sorority sisters and randoms at the bars. we went dancing one night last week and i was drenched in sweat by the time we left the club. yesterday, we went to conor o'neil's irish pub to celebrate the holiday. it was a good time.

but it's only been nine days, so nothing too crazy. i'm making chili for dinner and allie's going to come over and i'm going to highlight her hair.

i'm going to attempt to capture my california trip with words sometime this week. in the past month i've felt a multitude of emotions and learning to navigate them is such a wonderful learning expierence.

stay tuned.