i make mistakes. i say things i shouldn't say. i do things you may not like. i do things i don't like.
a lot of days i feel very broken. i am my very own, personalized, humpty-dumpty puzzle. most days i feel like i'm waking up to another day of trying to fit the pieces together. some days i can put a few pieces together; other days i wait for sleep so i can rest my mind from the puzzle of my life for at least a few hours, only to wake up and do it all over again. it's a labor of love, i guess. ultimately, i only have myself, so going through the ups and downs on this roller coaster of life is a privilege that is mine only and i should appreciate the uniqueness of my being.
most days i feel like a big loser, but can usually find something to be grateful for or something that makes me happy. the sun alone makes me feel good.
a lot of people i'm surrounded with say it's easy to choose to be happy, to be positive. while i agree, i can't ignore negative or bad feelings when they come around. people hurt me. i hurt people. it happens, i can't deny that life would be great if it were all love and acceptance. that'd be fucking awesome. it's just not the case though. all humans experience suffering in one form or another. sometimes it's difficult to show others love in the midst of suffering.
i hope you can love me while i'm suffering. love me when i'm up and when i'm down.
i'm not perfect and maybe the choices i make don't make sense in your eyes. but that's the beauty of the world-each and everyone of us is unique and we can't all fit into a mold or one idea of being.
if not, i wish you peace in your times of suffering and much love.
i'm a good-hearted person and if the world was ending, i'd be here for you.
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