This past week has been AWESOME! I am overwhelmed by all the beautiful blessings that exist in this heavenly world.
I am over-joyed, over-filled, and over-loved. On Sunday, February 28th, I attended A LoVE Event: benefiting the Matt Wadleigh Foundation and Oxfam for Haiti. The event began as a dream of my friend and fearless leader in love, Melissa Grove. With the help of her community and their subsequent smaller communities, she was able to make her dream a reality and raise $4100 of LoVE. And what a beautiful vision it was.
When I first arrived, I realized that the venue AMSDConcerts.com, was actually a beautiful church complete with bibles and hymnals in the pews. That night I was revived with the fever, love and excitement that can be found in an old church revival. I was re-charged spiritually by the leaders and elders of my community. I was shown mercy and compassion, love and grace.
As we waited for the show or 'service' to begin, I took a few moments to soak up my environment. I went to the bathroom, said hello to some friends, embraced others, shared a story or two, flipped through the church hymnal, and had a nice moment with a cute guy out in front of the church. Yup, this IS church. I've been here before. :)
I'd like to indulge myself in a long-winded essay about my being, past and present. I would also like to share the transformations I've been blessed with experiencing. These are my thoughts, straight from the inner workings of my being. This is my soul on this computer screen.
As I sat down in the pew and the service began, I became present to so many beautiful memories that exist throughout my twenty or so years associated with my upbringing in the Missionary Church. Throughout out my life, church was one of the regularly used words in my family's collective vocabulary. "What time are we leaving for church?" "Hurry up! You'll be late for church!" "Dick, can you warm up the car before church? I'll freeze to death if you don't." Church was an integral part of my life, because my mom's parents were a very large part of my life.
I attended church on both Wednesday night and twice on Sundays. Wednesday night service consisted of elementary, middle school, and high school youth group classes that would occur between 6:30 to 9:00 p.m. every Wednesday. On Sundays we would attend 'Sunday School' from 7:30 to 9:30 am with a small break before the big congregational service for donuts, coffee, and "fellowship".
I grew up celebrating every major holiday and birthdays with my immediate family, second cousins, and our 'church family', all who were a part of my weekly environment that revolved heavily around church. I have memories of beautiful, love-filled moments at that little white country church.
My favorite Sundays were when my grandfather would get up to welcome everyone and would always be the most captivating, charismatic, loving guy. He'd shout out "Good Morning!" as he practically leaped onto the stage. He was excited to be there! He was happy to be worshipping God every Sunday with a room full of believers. Occasionally he'd perform magic tricks and organize game/camping nights. We'd all camp in the large grass lot behind the church and play team games. My favorite was always water balloon volleyball. :)
But Grandpa wasn't just on fire for God at church. He was always happy when he saw someone he knew at a store, restaurant, etc. He'd always take the time to say hello, ask how their families were doing and believe me, he knew a lot of people. He would drive an extra hour most Sunday mornings to pick up kids from lower-income families who didn't attend church because he believed deeply in his heart that everyone should have the opportunity accept Jesus Christ into their hearts and experience the same joy he did by worshipping every Sunday. My grandfather is the most honorable, well -respected, kind and loving man I've ever known and he was a deacon and Sunday school teacher for many years. Throughout the years he and my grandma continually give me the gift of love and living life true to my self and true to my convictions. To him, everything was worth celebrating with a loud and boisterous 'alright!' or 'amen!. ('Praise the Lord' came often after I came home ecstatic that I had made another audition.) He is always excited about life. My grandfather asked Jesus Christ into his heart sometime around age twenty. From what I can tell, this was a major transformation in his life, accepting something bigger than he was, for the greater good of the world. By being a Christian, always lending a helping hand and standing by their extended family; my grandpa and grandma raised me with their own way of "Being Love."
Speaking of my Grandma, next to every extraordinary man (Grandpa) stands an even more extraordinary woman, the bearer of life. My grandma is sweeter than pie, has a heart big enough for the whole world to sit in, and is the most selfless giver I've ever met. She is a radiant example of what a woman can accomplish. She has raised four children, worked full time for nearly thirty years while her kids were in school and was also a full-time wife, cook, housekeeper, and secretary-treasurer for the church. She is always there for her friends, and regularly had a large group of amazing women around her at all times, going out to dinner, women's retreats, etc. Most of them were also members of the church. She always made it a point to visit and prepare food whenever anyone was ill or someone passed away. If she couldn't visit, she'd send a card and Grandpa would drop off a platter of food.
About once every quarter, we'd welcome missionaries home and back into our church after a year or longer commitment in places like Sri Lanka, India, and China. This was always a very exciting time for me as a child because the missionaries would have hundreds of pictures, stories and artifacts to share. For a kid growing up in Goshen, Indiana, a town of about 30,000; hearing these stories and seeing the photos of far off lands was one of the most fascinating experiences I had as a child. I would dream about the next time the missionaries would visit our church. I was constantly mesmerized with the idea of travel and helping people.
My grandparents showed me that serving others is an important part of being a Christian. Our church family would go to the local mission and prepare dinner and provide a church service once a month for the residents. I remember being five and after playing with and realizing that she didn't have any of her own; I gave away an entire suitcase of Barbies to a little girl that stayed at the mission. When asked by my Grandparents why I did that, I said "It just seemed like the right thing to do." Throughout grade school, I received "the helpful helper" award and my report cards always had comments from teachers about how "helpful" I was. Looking back, I can see that the desire to "help" or "serve" others is a gift my grandparents passed on by actively living a life of service to not only strangers, but to those they loved and called 'family'. They would drop everything to help with anything a neighbor, friend or family member needed. They always showed up when invited and they were present for every game I cheered at, every play I had a part, and every choir concert I sang in. They even showed up to support my friends throughout the years.
My life was turned upside down when my brother, Tyce was killed in a tragic train/bicycle accident at the age of seven. I was thirteen. Somehow in the midst of all the sadness I was able to get a grasp on how precious our lives truly are. The greatest blessing I've ever received was that of my brother's passing, because it made me grateful for every breath I take. It wasn't easy and it took years to heal my broken heart; I went through the seven stages of grief--anger, etc. I feel so fortunate that God blessed me with the strength and courage to continue on my own life's journey. After my brother passed away, my mom was extremely distraught and depressed. Shortly after I started my freshman year of high school, I asked to live with my grandparents. My mom and my father (they were divorced before I was one) signed over custody when I was fourteen. I am grateful to all of my parents for the roles they have played in my life.
I am now twenty-four and when I was sixteen I heard the music of Jason Mraz for the first time. Music is my greatest passion and I grew up doing community theatre, school musicals and singing in one of the top high school choirs in the nation. Naturally, I was drawn to Jason's charismatic nature, along with his amazing ability to express himself through music and lyrics. His music inspired me to travel and through my travels for the next four or five years, I starting meeting some amazing people. Soon, I wasn't just traveling because of the music, but because I had acquired a new group of 'concert friends.' As time went I on, I continued to meet more and more people through the Mraz community, and in 2006 I met my friend, Billy Galewood. In the summer of 2007 he really awakened me to the thought that anything is possible and that my dreams could become reality. He was a beacon of light during some dark times in my life and he really encouraged me to move away from my comfort zone of family and 'home'. He encouraged me to leap into the unknown and for that, I am eternally grateful.
In the spring of 2008, I got on airplane alone, for the first time. I had always flown with my family. I was scared out of my mind, but I knew this was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I met my good friend, Allie from Michigan, (who I met at in the summer of 2006 at a Mraz show) in San Francisco. She and I spent almost two weeks going from San Francisco to San Diego. We rented a car, slept in it most nights and froze our butts off showering at the public beach showers. It was a very transformational trip for both of us and we both stood together watching the sunset in Ocean Beach and said "this is home."
I made a promise to myself that I would be living in California by August of 2008. I left Indiana on August 8, 2008 with my friend and former lover, Kevin and arrived in California (after a pit stop with another Mraz concert friend, Micaela in Denver!) on August 14th. We hitchhiked out of pure curiosity to see if we could do it. It ended up being one of the greatest adventures of my life. Since then I have lived in Sebastopol, CA, with a two month stint in Hollywood, and eventually found myself in my new home, San Diego.
I have been here now for a year and seven months and WOW, I didn't know I could be this happy. I have lived and worked at an international traveler's hostel called Lucky D's for over a year and I love my job. I get to meet people from all over the world and experience this gorgeous city through the eyes of others, every day. I've made friends and memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Outside of the hostel, the friends I made going to concerts have remained a steady part of my life and through the friendships with them, I have been lucky enough to be included in a beautiful community of people that live throughout San Diego county and beyond.
Through this community, I have met some of the most beauty-full, inspiring women--one of them being Melissa Grove who was the dreamer of the "Love Event" that inspired this long-winded post of mine. I was so inspired to write about the magic that happened that night in the church.
Fellowship has always been one of my favorite words. My favorite definition is: family: an association of people who share common beliefs or activities.
What I experienced at the Love event was the first feeling of "fellowship" that I've had since leaving Indiana for California. Everyone there, was united by a common belief: LoVE. We were bonded by the power of positive thinking, positive (and fun!)music and just the simple message of "Being Love."
The night was filled with performances by Michael & Nancy Natter, Alysse Fischer, Alex Woodward, Dawn Mitschele, Bushwalla (Billy Galewood), the Voices of Prayze and Jason Mraz.
Since leaving my family, and the religion I was brought up with, my convictions have become something I am much more aware of. Some have changed and some have evolved. After much thought and self-examination, I have come to realize that self-exploration along with tranformational learning , peace, service, travel and love are the way to be NOW. Now is all we truly have and I'm going to be the best ME I can dream of!
I can't deny that Jason's influence through his music and his being is one of the most positive, uplifting and encouraging I've ever had affect me in my life. I'm amazed that my journey has now brought me to be an extended part of his community here in San Diego and I feel very blessed to be in the company of such loving and inspiring souls.
Just like the leaders of the church I grew up in (both men and women), I am being inspired to be a better person by the actions of the leaders around me now in our community. They are up to BIG things, changing the world starting with themselves and their communities...it's truly inspiring.
The leaders in my community travel the country and the world, affecting lives one by one with their inspirational messages of gratitude, service, love and peace. They are welcomed back into the community with open arms. THESE are our missionaries, well equipped with stories and pictures. But more importantly, they are inspired to be actively involved when they come back home. It doesn't stop when the tours, the month long bike rides in India, or the pilgrimages to South America are complete. They encourage the community to be less of a consumer and more of a contributor to the earth. They are being the change they wish to see in the world. It is so inspiring to be surrounded by so many equal and loving LEADERS. We can all lead and it is my intention to follow in their footsteps.
I laugh at myself now as I look back. I thought I was leaving a chunk of my life behind in Indiana and would be starting a new one out here. What is really happening is that I am taking all that was good and inspiring from my life in Indiana and without really searching for them--have found those same qualities of life exist here in San Diego: Community, Family, Service, and Fellowship. During the LoVE event, everyone was standing up, dancing, clapping, and singing at the top of their lungs in worship, not unlike the church service I attended in Indiana. Instead of bible quizzing and ballon volleyball; my community celebrates and worships all that is good by hula-hooping, dancing, juggling, yo-yo'ing and giving frequent high fives. We actively love each other. It's beautiful.
The LoVE event convinced me entirely that LoVE is my religion. If a crowd of 300 individuals can come together in fellowship to sing, dance and rejoice in being LOVE and by voting for positive change with our dollars, then I believe that we can expand that group of 300 to 3,000. 3, 000 to 3 million and 3 million to 3 billion and so on.
I believe in the power of positive thinking and I believe in the power of LOVE and the power of PEACE without weapons. I believe that we should be actively working to protect and preserve our earth. I believe that sustainable living is the only way to be living. I believe that marriage equality is a basic human right that we warriors of Love need to be actively fighting for. I believe that the power of BEING LOVE can change the world and help to end suffering. Global consciousness can change, if we want it, but it has to start within each one of us. Through our beings, we can continue to infect minds and cause a shift in global consciousness.
Speak out and speak up--The LoVE Revolution is here!
Feeling grateful for all my blessings past and present,
Tabatha
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