me, winter 2007

my genius woke me up from my nap today and this came out of me:



i walk around monument circle downtown indianapolis
i keep my head down cause nobody
nobody wants this mess ive worked myself
into once again its all my fault
i'm left on my own navigating
the struggles of being adult

my rent's late the lady came by today
opened my door while i showered
doesn't she know i'm naked
it's negative twelve degrees

shes asks when i'll have the money
that i'm late again
as soon as i can ma'am
as soon as i can make more

cause this broken record inside my chest
causes me to go out and drink it all down
my clanking radiator keeps me company
along with the neighbor whose snoring
i hear each night he sleeps
i'm all alone in this lonely
one bedroom on vermont street

this is what happens most of the time
with no car and no guy
no guy that sticks around anyway

i bundle up and walk up mass ave
hoping for someone to talk to me
not sure who it is i'm hoping for
i only attract losers around here
i deserve more than this

i slip into the chatterbox
live jazz five nights a week
liquor and music
i make myself go out
this is the first time i've lived alone
with no friends close

that was me then breaking out of my shell
not having a clue what choices to make
with no guidance, i made all the worst ones
but there was live jazz music at the chatterbox five nights a week
and live blues at the slippery noodle every night

i went there once on halloween alone
i met a couple who got me wasted, bought me drinks and a tshirt.
looking back, i think they wanted to sleep with me
but naivety won, thank goodness that night